F.R.E.D. Weekly

Time moves by for everyone and the same goes for every Freddy and their nation. Read our newsletter to catch up on what has been going on in our country.

Chairman of the education fraction goes missing

Tragedy has struck our nation as Alex Robynnu has gone missing during a party-hike in the southern mountains close to the municipality of Mountain Dew. Chairman Robynnu reportedly tripped and fell off a mountain path in the wee hours of the morning.

Alex Robynnu became chairman of the Education-fraction only a year ago, at age 33. Chairman Robynnu’s ascent to chairman was not a very common one. He only obtained the position by a mere 2% advantage over his predecessor Edwinov. Normally chairmen are elected by 95% of the votes.

The Education fraction had the following to say: “Our comrades were paired together in groups of two and they were to hike from the town of Novac to Mountain Dew. Somewhere along the way our beloved chairman must have tripped and have slid down the mountainside. We are all very shaken to our cores and our thoughts and prayers are with his wife and six little Freddies.”

The Education fraction told us that chairman Robynnu was paired with his predecessor Christopher Edwinov. Gossiping party members claim that the two politicians started their hike off with animosity between the two of them, reportedly over the way chairman Robynnu took over the position. Some of these no-good gossiping apparatchiks even said that comrade Edwinov arrived in Mountain Dew very tired and walked with a limp, suggesting foul play or perhaps a fight. Comrade Edwinov was not available for commentary.

Rescue squads have been patrolling the area for three days hoping to find any sign of life. Helicopters as well as ground patrols have so far not been able to find any sign of life from the missing chairman

Who gets your vote?

In our beautiful country of the Free Republic of Every Democrat the elections are scheduled in four months. That means the elections are around the corner, which means that we will have to choose wisely. To make sure we all vote for the greatest party, here is an overview of every party’s policy.

The Freedom Party strives for freedom in every aspect of the word. According to the F-party, we are being limited in our freedom. This policy has stirred up a lot of commotion and this is what our great commissar had to say about the F-party: “The Freedom Party has always been a party prone to ludicrous claims, which have time and time again been proved to be untrue. This is clearly another case of fake news.”

The Research Party wants to highlight the importance of the research necessary to become a better version of ourselves. The R-party feels the need to do more extensive work on the effects of Project REDACTED to see if there is any harm in continuing the project. Every Freddie knows there is no harm because our beautiful country would never do anything to hurt its citizens.

Thirdly, the Education Party wants to improve the education system, after a very reliable study showed there is much to improve on. Naturally, every other party knows there is hardly anything to improve upon, since our education is already great. However, the E-party is driven by the study, aided by the Minister of Education, to shine a light on the importance of a constantly changing education system. In such an education system Freddies become resilient and strong, according to the E-party.

Finally, the Discipline Party feels strongly about the lack of discipline in the little Freddies of our glorious country. The D-party wants to implement a new course, where children learn to have respect for their seniors and other children. This course is supported by the E-party. Both parties agree to it that this course is to be implemented as soon as possible.

Choose wisely, dear Freddies. Remember: the government chooses the mayor of your town. The question is which letter of F.R.E.D. will be represented in your town.

Fredian government discovers new way of storing nuclear waste

Our trustworthy scientists have made a new breakthrough in the development of nuclear waste disposal systems. But what exactly is this new method, and how harmful/harmless is it to the environment?

Mo’ waste, mo’ problems

With all of F.R.E.D.’s nuclear power plants running at full speed, with new ones being built each day, it is inevitable that our current storage sites for the nuclear waste produced by these plants won’t be up to the task of storing further units. Some of F.R.E.D.’s brightest minds have been working tirelessly for the past few weeks and may have finally made a breakthrough.

The solution

“The current fission reactors used in the Fredian space program are the most sophisticated in the UBN.”, says Anatoli Kasparov, head of the Fredian Space Travel Association.

“Why don’t we just, you know, launch it all into space? Don’t make it our problem, make it E.T.’s problem. It’s such a simple solution with hardly any chance of backfiring.”

“Don’t make it our problem, make it E.T.’s problem” – Anatoli Kasparov

Like any bold statement, this one also divides opinions. The vast majority, however, agrees that drastic actions, such as this one, must absolutely be undertaken in order to minimise the environmental damage from nuclear waste seeping into the ground, e.g. The Glowing Sea.

But exactly how much waste can be stored on a single rocket? And what are the chances of it to accidentally come crashing back down, causing a nuclear holocaust in one of our neighbours’ territory? So many questions, yet so little time. Please tune in for next week’s issue of F.R.E.D. Weekly for the answers to all of these questions!